Getting to the Good Part
Everyone enters this stage differently, but the stage is entered. Some days are better than others and some days down right hurt to keep going. But the thing is, you’ve made it to “here” and you will make it beyond this point.
Acknowledging what you feel is the healthiest thing to do because it relieves stress, which reduces weight gain, slows down aging and allows healing to take place faster.
By the time I hit the “Now What” stage I was still hurting but functioning was easier. I knew the truth and I was no longer loosing sleep at night wondering.
I still got angry at times and cried intermittently because I was grieving. I allowed myself to cry and I acknowledge my feelings for this reason…….
Our society teaches us to suck it up and move on. But this is exactly why we often keep repeating the same test. We do not take the time to address what got us here and we do not assess the signs we ignored. We sweep the offenses under the rug and run to the next relationship. Therefore, we’re constantly pulling people into our lives who fill a void, just to use them and be used, then the “hurt people, hurt people cycle starts all over again and tends to get worse as we go along.
The lesson to be learned at this point is to locate the source of your bitterness, resentment and anger. And I’m here to tell you, the source is NOT the person who caused you the pain. The source lies deeper within you and probably stems from childhood or some other event early on.
For me, I was feeling like the 5 year old I talked about earlier. This is the age when I became aware of love and hate, hurt and pain, and I put a bullet proof wall up around my heart. So my emotional and love skills were limited when it came to loving a man. My family and my children were the only exceptions. But truly opening up in an intimate relationship was a “no-go”.
As I was thinking about the events that had taken place in my life, I realized my heart was able to be broken because I had actually learned how to love with my heart.
When this came into my mind, I finally knew more of why things happened seemingly “to” me and why it wasn’t anyone’s fault.
It was brought back to my memory that I’d once asked to know what it felt like to love unconditionally….the kind of love a woman has for a man with his flaws and all. And because I was emotionally shut down so early, I thought I was incapable of loving a man unless my name was on his birth certificate.
Prior to all of this, I’d been called insensitive, cold, mean, no heart and other things but I no longer held those titles. So in order for me to know that I was capable of loving unconditionally, I had to love unconditionally and have heartbreak enter in so I could see the difference.
Getting to the Good Part
Even after all this time
the sun never says to the earth, “You owe Me.”
Look what happens with a love like that,
It lights up the Whole Sky.-Hafiz
Once I accepted these things about myself, I was able to began planning for the good part. In fact, the “good” part had already begun and once I stopped the blame game and forgave myself, once I allowed myself to cry if I needed to, once I stopped pulling up a chair and eating popcorn like I was watching a scary movie of my life and I changed the channel on the past…..the good part began to be my everyday experience.
No one owed me anything. My only requirement in life was to keep showing love and kindness and embrace the wonderful things that were starting to pile up on top of me!
Now you’re here, too. Getting to the good part is the beginning of getting to the true happiness you really want and it has nothing to do with a person, place nor thing.
Next post, I’ll show you how! —->How To Love!