The woman who thinks she can and the woman who thinks she can’t are both right!-Henry Ford

This is some easy advice I received in part from a man and in part from experience. 

When a man doesn’t approach us, sometimes we say “he must be gay”. When he approaches us and gives us what we want, sometimes we say “he must be a player”.


We’re usually so busy trying to sum him up the moment we make eye contact that he doesn’t stand a chance.

In reality, the wrong man will weed himself out of your life very quickly. You have a better chance of attracting the right man if you consider doing the following:

1)     Be Open Minded.

Who cares who he’s with, meaning if he has another woman, you’ll know way sooner than later. Just go with it unless it proves out otherwise.

Who cares that he got 10 other phone numbers before yours. If he’s interested in calling you, he will.

Who cares who he slept with yesterday.  If he’s in front of you often, calling you or texting you without you have to “poke” him, it is you that’s in the top spot with him.

2)     Keep in Mind He Gave You What You Wanted.

He gave you his attention and his time.

3)     Decide if you want a man who is confident and good with women or someone who is insecure and lousy with women and can’t deliver.

4)     Stop thinking if you smile at him, he’ll think you’re “easy”. Men are visuals.

5)     Know that 90% of the good guys have been undiscovered. No judgment.

6)     Stop going to your girlfriend for bad advice. Go with what is inside of you.

7)     Keep it sexy and confident. Men are visuals (Come see me if you need tips.)

8)     JUST SAY NO TO NAGGING AND HARASSING HIM!  Asking him about this one and that one or being insecure about where you stand should be red flags for you. If he is putting out that vibe, chances are he may not be being honest. But truthfully, your gut instinct would tell you the truth. So listen to it.

Anyway, men HATE nagging as it reminds them of their mothers….and honey, his mother cannot do what you can do (wink).   Besides, when he has a lot of options to choose from you can pretty easily figure out which place you are. Once you know, make a decision. If you’re at the top, great. If you’re not number one, decide if you want to still play.

Here’s a very simple way to know: When he wants to be with you, he will be with you and you won’t have to become part of the FBI or League of Men Ain’t No Good club.

9)     Have fun wherever you are in the process. Get to know him. Let him live his REAL life so you can see what you’re getting. Live your real life so he can see what he’s getting.

And stop waiting by the phone! NOTE:  Men in general do not like to text a lot nor reply to emails or talk on the phone. This is called E-maintenance and some of them are not that good at it. But when you text or call him and he replies….just go with it.

By now you should already know where you stand with him.  When he WANTS to be with you, he will be with you. No homeboys, no job, no baby momma will keep him from you….not even the hustle of making money.

10) Keep your panties on………period. The wrong ones do not have “staying” power. Save yourself from becoming a booty call when he’s bored or from being used when he needs you for something.


His age is not as important as his maturity (Must be over 21….LOL). Mature men will communicate and not try and run game. Even if he tells you he has other situations, understandings, “friends”…..he’s communicating to you.


Mature men will not allow you to find out things from Facebook, Twitter or from the streets WHEN he wants to be with you. It’s NOT on you to “grow him up”.  However, things happen sometimes, so should you ask him about anything that comes up…..a mature man will be honest about it and not run. You’ll still be top of his list.

Just ask him straight up what’s his intent with you and a mature man will tell you.

Learn to LISTEN to him and don’t try to make what he says be anything other than what he says.

Be handled with care and love,


© The Temeca Group.  All Rights Reserved 2012.


About Temeca

I believe in living authentically. By me being open about the truths we all share, people can connect with their own truths and have a better spiritual walk, health & wellness, healing, healthy relationships, and prosperity in their finances and career. Most importantly, loving others unconditionally "as is", forgiving for good and being happy are keys to a successful life.

Posted on December 12, 2011, in Healing A Broken Heart, Health, Relationships, With Love, Women and Girls Run The World and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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