Guarding Your Heart is YOUR JOB!
ABOVE ALL ELSE….Guard your heart, for out of it flows the issues of life. –Proverbs 4:23
Just when you thought it was safe to feel happy or let go of a painful memory something seems to come along and test you. Why do you think this is happening? Better yet, why do you think it keeps happening?
I will tell myself I’ve forgiven a person and say I’ve moved on. However, sometimes in my mind the mere thought of a certain person or certain situations or a replay of something that has hurt me can trigger emotions as if it just happened that day. My heart starts racing, my voice becomes shaky and I can feel the tears wanting to flood my face. My mind starts to retrace every step I’ve already taken then I start adding things to the story such as what I should have done or said. I began to see myself acting out the fights, the cursing, the anger and any emotion that is negative. To make it worse, I’ll play just the right music to fuel my increasing fire that is building into a C-40-level-firestorm-atomic bomb! Yes, that is how angry I began to feel. And poor guy, if he happens to text me or call me when I’m “going through” that feeling….he will get an ear full or text full of everything he did to hurt me. But he’s probably thinking “She said she forgave me so what did I do now?” For the record, he’s done nothing.
If you’ve been here or if you’re here now……keep reading.
Short True Story
We all face the emotion of hurt and pain in our lifetimes no matter our race, background or who our parents are. This is a part of life which cannot be avoided. However, this is also an emotion which is CONTROLLABLE. Yeah, I didn’t think so either until one day my best friend from the 2nd grade (I had to say which one, I have several.) and I were walking the mountain trails and the entire time all I did was rehash the story of what he had done to me. How could he do this and that? Why? Who does he think he is? I’ve sacrificed this and that…and I would not have done this or that to him….blah blah blah. I kept going on and on and on. Meanwhile, my best friend just listened and allowed me to say everything I needed to say without judgment. She knew I needed to vent and release what I had been holding inside for months. Finally as we began to descend the mountain, she turned and looked at me and said, “No one ever does anything to you it’s always done for you.” I looked at her with the “girl please” look but her next words changed my entire outlook on everything and it actually changed my life for the better.
She stated, “He didn’t intentionally set out to hurt you or make your world crumble. He was taking care of you even before you found out the truth. So that means he was taking care of you when he was doing wrong behind your back, but you just didn’t know about it. Eventually, he had to face the truth and do what he felt was best for him. He felt he had to preserve himself from what thought was a threat to what he wanted. Even though the way he went about how he did things were hurtful and detrimental to the relationship….and yeah, shattered your heart in the process, he did nothing wrong. Everything which happened has actually put you closer to whatever it is you truly want in life. People make things worse when they interfere with how God works things out. When people learn to tell the truth upfront and stop being afraid to be grown and live their real life, they will be happier. But now all of that is the past and it’s over and you cannot “un-happen” any of it. Girl, let that go and wish nothing nor speak nothing evil or bad on him because you’ll bring it back to yourself. He will be dealt with the way God sees fit, so there’s nothing for you to do. If you’re going to have to think about him or what happened, only think about how he made your life better and what you’ve learned from it. If you need to cry, then cry. Acknowledge that it hurts but always end on LOVE, no matter what. Guard your heart Temeca, that’s always your job and it was never his.”
I share this with you because I was at one of the lowest points in my life and what I thought was, really wasn’t and to me, my world had stopped. As the months moved on, I cried less, but every now and then this memory from my past would come up.
But I was tired of crying and reliving all of that. The day came when I chose to look at my heart being broken and in a cast…..yet it was time for the cast to come off. I decided to give it the same attention a person would give to a broken arm after the cast is removed. The arm is weaker, smaller and requires more usage to get it back to speed. You are more guarded than usual and can feel the slightest shift in the wind when it touches your skin. Even though it may not reset to its original state, you learn to train it to function so you can use again. Pain may spark in it from time to time as part of the nerves growing back together, but you don’t cut your arm off. You just keep using it and one day, the pain is totally gone. Even when you’re reminded that you broke it once before, you smile and tell of how, why, when but you also speak about how it healed. So the same is with a broken heart.
Time heals all things and there is NO sorrow that God cannot heal.
Like the broken arm, you now protect it and think about certain things before you endanger it again, especially when you visit the place where it was broken. So you MUST have the same caution about your heart. If a text, an email, a letter in the mail, a phone call or even being around certain people cause you to experience what I described at the top about the anger, then think about what I was told on the mountains. Delete the things which cause you to feel a certain way and only speak good things or say nothing about it and move on. Give it ZERO power.
Above ALL else that you can do, GUARD YOUR HEART because everything you do flows from it and it determines the quality and course of your life.
You are not alone in your hurt and pain. I’m there at times and I’ve have been there, too. But everything really does get better the moment you think it does and began to allow yourself the space and time to heal.
If this has helped you, pass it on to others, men and women.
Be handled with care and love,
(c) The Temeca Group, Inc. 2011
P.S. Love is in the air! And the one who you were truly created for and the life you truly want are closer than you think. Just let go of the past.
Posted on October 13, 2011, in Healing A Broken Heart, With Love and tagged believe, broken heart, faith, guard your heart, happiness, happy, healed heart, healing, how to love, inner peace, joy. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.