“How To Love”…(Who Taught You?)
I got faith in you and I…You and I are as simple as pie-Miguel
Sometimes I sit and think about all the things my mom and dad have shown me about life.
Mostly I remember being told to always be able to take care of myself in case he leaves. I heard “go to college, get a good job and pick a good man with money who can take care of you”. I was told “make sure he’s good to you and that he makes good money from being a doctor or lawyer.”
But no one really said much about how to take care of myself in case he stayed. So I spent my time watching TV hoping to figure it out. To add to the complexity of it, I knew I liked only a certain type of man and I also knew I wanted to do certain things in life which meant the traditional “house wife” was not going to be me.
What if I wanted him to be silly like me, adventurous, fun and able to make me laugh? What if I wanted him to have his own business, cut grass or like street clothes over suits and ties, and like music as much as me? Just what if he was nothing like what my parents said I should want but he simply made me happy and I made him happy?
So of course I spent the bulk of my life picking men that fit what was embedded in my mind as a child, as the type man for me. And I was always wrong in the end. But talking to a friend changed how I looked at this and officially set the record straight for me to be satisfied with how I was designed.
Then guess what happened after that?
Short True Story
A few weeks after I admitted to my friend that I could officially say I liked a certain type of man and that I was going to stop limiting myself to the superficial things I always judged them by….. I met him.
It wasn’t planned and I wasn’t expecting anything beyond the first hello and neither was he.
I never saw it coming but after a few weeks of talking to him and spending time with him, I had to go look at my list of things I’d ask for in a man. “Well dang” was all I could say when his answer to a question matched all the things I’d listed! He had no idea I even had a list, let alone that those were the characteristics I wanted.
Did he fit what my mom and dad had planned for me? It didn’t matter what their answer would be. I knew what I wanted and I knew that part of taking care of myself was to be happy with my choice.
Then this song came on by Li’Wayne-“How To Love”. It reminded me of how my parents had taught me to take care of myself financially. Yet somewhere I missed the class on how to love myself enough to own who I am everyday and to make sure the man in my life mirrored me more in his positive attributes vs. his flaws.
Did I get it right?
I’m happy with my choice….even happier because I didn’t go looking and judging. He just showed up “as is” and I can deal with the entire package he comes with because I didn’t limit him with all of my one million perfect requirements.
So yes, I got it right for me.
Be handled with care and love,
(c) The Temeca Group, Inc. 2011
Posted on September 25, 2011, in Uncategorized, What is My "True North"?, With Love and tagged be handled with care, faith, happy, how to love, love, short true story. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.