[My] Life Summarized in 5 Chapters

My Life is Summarized in 5 Chapters

Chapter 1 

I was walking down the street.

There was a hole in the street.

I didn’t see it and I fell in it.

It wasn’t my fault because I didn’t know about it.

I was lost, scared and I didn’t know what to do.

It took seemingly forever to get out.

Chapter 2

I was walking down the same street.

There was a hole in the street.

I pretended I didn’t see it and I fell in it.

It was my fault.

Getting out took a long time.

Chapter 3

I was walking down the same street.

There was a hole in the street.

I saw it and I fell in it.

I said to myself, “This is a habit.”

This time it didn’t long to get out.

Chapter 4

I was walking down the same street.

There was a hole in the street.

I saw it.

This time I walked around it.

Chapter 5

As I was walking……I decided to take a NEW street.

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(c) All rights reserved The Temeca Group, Inc. 2012 , and all its susidiaries.

(I borrowed from this from Wayne Dyer’s Wish Fullfilled seminar.)

STOP LABELING MEN!

 The woman who thinks she can and the woman who thinks she can’t are both right!-Henry Ford

This is some easy advice I received in part from a man and in part from experience. 

When a man doesn’t approach us, sometimes we say “he must be gay”. When he approaches us and gives us what we want, sometimes we say “he must be a player”.

STOP LABELING MEN AT FIRST SIGHT!

We’re usually so busy trying to sum him up the moment we make eye contact that he doesn’t stand a chance.

In reality, the wrong man will weed himself out of your life very quickly. You have a better chance of attracting the right man if you consider doing the following:

1)     Be Open Minded.

Who cares who he’s with, meaning if he has another woman, you’ll know way sooner than later. Just go with it unless it proves out otherwise.

Who cares that he got 10 other phone numbers before yours. If he’s interested in calling you, he will.

Who cares who he slept with yesterday.  If he’s in front of you often, calling you or texting you without you have to “poke” him, it is you that’s in the top spot with him.

2)     Keep in Mind He Gave You What You Wanted.

He gave you his attention and his time.

3)     Decide if you want a man who is confident and good with women or someone who is insecure and lousy with women and can’t deliver.

4)     Stop thinking if you smile at him, he’ll think you’re “easy”. Men are visuals.

5)     Know that 90% of the good guys have been undiscovered. No judgment.

6)     Stop going to your girlfriend for bad advice. Go with what is inside of you.

7)     Keep it sexy and confident. Men are visuals (Come see me if you need tips.)

8)     JUST SAY NO TO NAGGING AND HARASSING HIM!  Asking him about this one and that one or being insecure about where you stand should be red flags for you. If he is putting out that vibe, chances are he may not be being honest. But truthfully, your gut instinct would tell you the truth. So listen to it.

Anyway, men HATE nagging as it reminds them of their mothers….and honey, his mother cannot do what you can do (wink).   Besides, when he has a lot of options to choose from you can pretty easily figure out which place you are. Once you know, make a decision. If you’re at the top, great. If you’re not number one, decide if you want to still play.

Here’s a very simple way to know: When he wants to be with you, he will be with you and you won’t have to become part of the FBI or League of Men Ain’t No Good club.

9)     Have fun wherever you are in the process. Get to know him. Let him live his REAL life so you can see what you’re getting. Live your real life so he can see what he’s getting.

And stop waiting by the phone! NOTE:  Men in general do not like to text a lot nor reply to emails or talk on the phone. This is called E-maintenance and some of them are not that good at it. But when you text or call him and he replies….just go with it.

By now you should already know where you stand with him.  When he WANTS to be with you, he will be with you. No homeboys, no job, no baby momma will keep him from you….not even the hustle of making money.

10) Keep your panties on………period. The wrong ones do not have “staying” power. Save yourself from becoming a booty call when he’s bored or from being used when he needs you for something.

11) BONUS: KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A BOY.

His age is not as important as his maturity (Must be over 21….LOL). Mature men will communicate and not try and run game. Even if he tells you he has other situations, understandings, “friends”…..he’s communicating to you.

LISTEN TO HIM.

Mature men will not allow you to find out things from Facebook, Twitter or from the streets WHEN he wants to be with you. It’s NOT on you to “grow him up”.  However, things happen sometimes, so should you ask him about anything that comes up…..a mature man will be honest about it and not run. You’ll still be top of his list.

Just ask him straight up what’s his intent with you and a mature man will tell you.

Learn to LISTEN to him and don’t try to make what he says be anything other than what he says.

Be handled with care and love,

Temeca

© The Temeca Group.  All Rights Reserved 2012.

Quit If You Want To. We Won’t Stop You.

“You’re already in pain, so you may as well get a reward!”-Eric Thomas, The Hip Hop Preacher

Right when I’m about to give up, my fitness trainer inspires me with the above quote from Eric Thomas’ “How Bad Do You Want It” speech.  As a matter of fact, he plays the entire speech. Then all of a sudden, the pain is over.

How many times have you been in a situation where the pain was so great you wanted to quit? How many times when you actually quit, you wished you’d kept going knowing how much further along you could have been? 

If this has been you or if this is where you are now, I’ve done this before, too so you are not alone.

There are many forms of pain whether it is from a broken arm, hurt feelings or a scraped knee. But the kind of pain I’m referring to today is a little different.  I’m talking about the pain of not accomplishing your goals and dreams as you said you would.

We’re about 8 weeks away from the end of the year 2011 and many of you made a commitment to yourself to change your life for the better. So today, where are you in making it happen?  What excuses have you made for the last 44 weeks as to why you couldn’t get it done? How does that make you feel knowing you are probably in the same place on your goal list that you were a year ago and knowing all the things you’ve allowed to get in your way are still there, too? What is it going to take for you to love yourself enough to take care of the body you have to live in?

Yes, I know the stress of feeling like it’ll never happen or thinking you’re too old to change back the hands of time or feeling like you don’t have time or the money isn’t there or the support isn’t there or nobody will like me blah blah blah. But I also know the multiple excuses we make because we can be LAZY. 

In the last week, I calculated that I’ve spoken with about 110 women about being healthy and losing weight. My primary contact with them was because we were talking about our passions and I expressed my love for fitness. From there, they’d explain how they don’t have time for this and that because this child has this to do or they were super busy with mowing the grass and a bunch of other excuses they gave me.

After the excuses they still wanted to know “how long did it take” and “what was the price.” So that got me to thinking about the value some people place on their lives. See if they saw a person wearing designer shoes or driving a high end car, some people would be quick to say, “Girl that’s my dream!” They wouldn’t ask what price was paid for it. They’d ask when did you get it and what do you do for a living to make it happen. Yet when they look at the things regarding their health and the “how to” and the proof is shown to them, it costs too much or they don’t have time because it “takes too long”.

After my survey last week, it made sense to me…..some people do not want to be healthy and live a wonderful life unless they have medication and are near death. It’s as if there is some great reward in suffering.  Why?

Well…….Food is a drug…………………………and it’s possible, they are addicted!  (It takes one to know one.)

Hi my name is Temeca, and I am a recovering food addict!

Yes a food addict. I love food but the wrong foods almost killed me. It didn’t run into my house in the middle of the night and jump on me, but I made a conscience choice to EAT my way through pain, stress, suffering, lack, loneliness and boredom. There’s just something about crunching on something and smelling good smells that trigger this thing in my mind that I had to have it. And when I would get a hold of it, I SUPER sized it!

But the day came when I would sit at the top of my steps at home and slide to the bottom because I was so worn out from the stair climb. I also began having all kinds of medical issues from what I thought were gall stones to high blood pressure. 

I was sure I was dying so I went to the doctor who ran a series of test on me. When the results came back, he looked at me and said, “Do you want to die?” I’d never had that question asked before so I had to think about it.   As I was thinking about it, he said, “The bottom line is you’re fat….morbidly obese is more like it and IF you do not change your lifestyle, you will die from this morbid obesity and this coat of fat that is hovering around your heart. All the things you’re complaining about that you have to do will be over. It’s up to you, so let me know.”

And that did it for me……………….but not that day.

I’m going to end here for now, but it took a bigger eye opener for me to “get it” and make a choice to change my thoughts and my ways in order to form a new habit and groove in my mindset.  All I can say is this is one time in my life, I am thankful I kept going. 

Look for part 2 of this soon.

 

Be handled with care and love,

 

Temeca

© All rights reserved. The Temeca Group, Inc. 2011

Successful Relationships

 Ain’t no particular sign I’m most compatible with, I just want your extra time and your………Kiss.-Prince

This has to be the first place I’ve ever lived in which I am usually greeted by “what’s your sign?” It’s as if my sign determines whether or not we’re going to be some great phenomenon or a great disaster. And when I tell my sign, I seem to strike a chord with them that resonates “Oh my goodness, you’re a handful blah blah blah”. Sometimes, I have them guess and they are usually standing there with the deer in headlight look because they are wrong. Zodiacally-technically speaking, I am a cusp sign with mutable and cardinal tendencies, raised by a certain type of man and woman (with their own issues), reared in a specific environment and genetically coded in a unique way. Then there are my own thoughts.

We are all designed this way, therefore, the zodiac sign predictor can be significantly off and cause us to be judgmental in the wrong direction and miss out on the best thing ever.

IF the zodiac signs were SO on point, why do we have SO MANY failed relationships of supposedly compatible people? Yeah, it’s great to know the personality type of the one you love, like or are attracted to, but the substance of who that person is should be considered high on the scale. Simply put? I’m compatible with all of the zodiacs. I just pick and choose what I will deal with from an individual and I also look at the things that make him tick.

But someone would say I’m not compatible with all the zodiacs because I’m the baby of the zodiac. Some may say I should have a daddy zodiac type of guy who can give me direction since I can be indecisive, demanding with an “It’s my way or no way attitude”…etc. Well how about I am the leader of the zodiacs: loyal, love only one at a time, the initiator, the front leg of the four-legged race with the spirit of “win or win”, honest and no matter what’s happening we will win.  I think in the larger scheme of things we should ask, where does this information come from? But does it really matter anyway?

Let’s see.

Maybe you’ve found yourself at times like me asking him questions as if you’re interviewing him for a leading role in your life. Yet regardless to what you’re told, his sign shouldn’t be a priority.

Consider this.

The things which stand out the most should be where did he come from and how was he raised. Followed by learning and understanding his beliefs, goals and dreams. See the answers will always appear in his actions which will show you what is in his heart; therefore he only has his word.

For his sake, he should be an honest man because the truth will eventually tell on him anyway.

Will the zodiac predict the best outcome of your relationship? No, is my opinion.

If you want to learn personality types, take a psychology class. But relying on an un-proven man-made assessment which cannot possibly factor in all of the possible scenarios available does not make sense.  My proof is in the court system dockets filled with divorce papers, unhappy people staying together and people judging another based on a flawed zodiac system…which interestingly has now changed all of a sudden. (Read about the zodiac shift on your own.)

Dear people, the heart and mind being on one accord between the two individuals are the true predictors of a successful relationship. Trust, Honesty, Love, Respect and Faith are the foundation of it, no matter what one’s zodiac sign reads.

Let’s get to work on having successful relationships that really work.

Be handled with care and love,

Temeca

© All Rights Reserved. The Temeca Group, Inc. 2011

Guarding Your Heart is YOUR JOB!

ABOVE ALL ELSE….Guard your heart, for out of it flows the issues of life.  –Proverbs 4:23

Just when you thought it was safe to feel happy or let go of a painful memory something seems to come along and test you. Why do you think this is happening? Better yet, why do you think it keeps happening?

I will tell myself I’ve forgiven a person and say I’ve moved on. However, sometimes in my mind the mere thought of a certain person or certain situations or a replay of something that has hurt me can trigger emotions as if it just happened that day. My heart starts racing, my voice becomes shaky and I can feel the tears wanting to flood my face. My mind starts to retrace every step I’ve already taken then I start adding things to the story such as what I should have done or said. I began to see myself acting out the fights, the cursing, the anger and any emotion that is negative. To make it worse, I’ll play just the right music to fuel my increasing fire that is building into a C-40-level-firestorm-atomic bomb! Yes, that is how angry I began to feel. And poor guy, if he happens to text me or call me when I’m “going through” that feeling….he will get an ear full or text full of everything he did to hurt me.  But he’s probably thinking “She said she forgave me so what did I do now?”  For the record, he’s done nothing.

If you’ve been here or if you’re here now……keep reading.

Short True Story

“How To Love”…(Who Taught You?)

I got faith in you and I…You and I are as simple as pie-Miguel

Sometimes I sit and think about all the things my mom and dad have shown me about life.

Mostly I remember being told to always be able to take care of myself in case he leaves.  I heard “go to college, get a good job and pick a good man with money who can take care of you”.  I was told “make sure he’s good to you and that he makes good money from being a doctor or lawyer.”

But no one really said much about how to take care of myself in case he stayed.  So I spent my time watching TV hoping to figure it out. To add to the complexity of it, I knew I liked only a certain type of man and I also knew I wanted to do certain things in life which meant the traditional “house wife” was not going to be me.

What if I wanted him to be silly like me, adventurous, fun and able to make me laugh? What if I wanted him to have his own business, cut grass or like street clothes over suits and ties, and like music as much as me? Just what if he was nothing like what my parents said I should want but he simply made me happy and I made him happy?

So of course I spent the bulk of my life picking men that fit what was embedded in my mind as a child, as the type man for me. And I was always wrong in the end.  But talking to a friend changed how I looked at this and officially set the record straight for me to be satisfied with how I was designed.

Then guess what happened after that?